Parenting in Today's World

O.k. this is my very first blog post EVER so bear with me. I am an accountant which means writing is not necessarily my strong point. :) We have just started a new book called Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel and while I have not yet finished reading through Chapter 1 I already feel very inspired and hopeful about what we will be reading. In just a few short pages he has pointed out so many relevant and important facts about today's culture and its effect on the way we parent. Something that my husband and I have talked about frequently and that Dr. Kimmel points out is that our culture has all but erased the moral boundaries that used to make raising children much more clear cut. He says: "We also had excellent guidelines to live by - like the Ten Commandments. But after decades of culture chipping away at them, the Ten Commandments are no longer etched deeply in stone but written in pencil on a Post-it note. They are more like ten hints or suggestions that you can use when it's in your best interest to do so. Somewhere along the way, they've lost their authority in the average family's life. To too many of today's parents, it is no longer 'right and wrong' but what I feel is 'right and wrong' that rules the day." I could not agree more with this statement and it scares me to see this trend. I am really looking forward to what he has to say in the upcoming chapters about raising children who will be well equipped to "move into adulthood as vital members of the human race."

In my effort to keep my posts short I'll end now with a quote from this book that I find very powerful and exciting. In talking about becoming a parent he says "You've been handed a piece of history in advance - a gracious gift you will send to a time you will not see." Pretty awesome! :)

frustration and tragedy

I love the idea of a blog - sort of anonymous but out there. I say this because while I love facebook, I feel that I have to be super careful with things I post due to the fact that I am a school board employee.

I am the dreaded, feared, hated, pitied, sometimes admired creature - a high school teacher.

I got a call from my father today. I can always tell from his tone that someone has died. It's that weird stilted voice and the feeling he has to say something he doesn't want to say.

3 boys were killed in a car accident - alcohol is suspected. I was relieved to discover they weren't my students, but looking at the photos posted - I recognize them. I passed these boys in the halls. I most likely have had their friends in class.

I know this seems odd and out of place on this blog - we discuss the books we've read, and our walk with the Lord. But this is a huge part of my daily life - especially since school is a few short weeks away. I constantly see kids with this idea that tragedy can't befall them. When it does happen to a friend, they have this attitude that it still won't happen to them - b/c it happened to someone they know.

There was a mandatory assembly that I had to take my students too. It was heart breaking - all about drugs and unintentional overdoses, the combination of pills and alcohol. There were students who joked afterward. The same students who are a little too fond of Bob Marley and make jokes about the weekends. I have often said how frustrating it is to hear these things - there have been lawsuits and such that make it not advisable for teachers to report this to parents directly. There is a process - refer to guidance, etc. etc. ERG!

Some of my students are so lost - they ask me questions that stun me. The one that I've gotten used to but still makes me so sad - "what religion am i?". The idea that things aren't wrong if you're not caught (drinking, cheating, stealing, lieing). The sin issue is beyond them.

I don't understand where the parents are - what are they doing? We are starting a book called grace based parenting - in the first few lines it speaks of good intentions. It's an assumption that I am finding is truly flawed. I don't know that every parent has good intentions. Maybe they had them in the cute stages of infancy and toddlerhood - but as the child grows - the interest is lost. Too often I speak to parents who have given up on their children. "Oh well - it's their life - I can't make them do anything..." A 15 or 16 year old, while desiring independence needs the guidance of parents needs their help.

I don't know anything about the home lives of these particular boys - and I do pray for their families - we know best intentions do not always mean perfect children. This was one mistake the driver made - to drink and drive.