Lie 27: Size of family

This lie hit home hard. As was mentioned in a previous post by my fellow blogger, these chapters are meaty and alot of processing must occur. It has taken me a couple of weeks to process this information and to write about it in a somewhat coherent manner.

The author of this book has done fabulous with most lies, but on this one in particular I felt that she skimmed over a very serious issue. She thouroughly covered the idea that it is not up to us to determine how SMALL our family is (she covered that and acknowledged the controversy).

The thing is, she quickly skipped over the fact it is not up to us how our family is shaped at all. She did not cover the issue of infertility or inability to have children. This was difficult for me in particular because of my own struggles. While I have one biological child, I am incapable of bearing more children. I think she could have had a whole additional lie attached that we will be able to have the amount of children we desire. I think as women we all grow up having a picture of our future family in our head - gender, number of kids, etc. Then life happens. It has been surprising to me how many women even in our extended playgroup have had conception, pregnancy and/or labor issues. The idea of a perfect pregnancy and birth is a damaging and prevelant myth in our culture. There seems to be this assumption that because a woman has had a child, she will be able to have more. Or that every woman IS capable of having a child at all. (of course it could be the husband with issues...). There are so many paths she could have explored in how we can fulfill God's plan of raising children even when the "natural" way of things doesn't work out.

She speaks of Mary and paraphrases Luke 1:38 as:
You are my Lord. I am your servant. My body is Yours; I accept any inconvenience or hardship this will mean for me. All that matters to me is fulfilling the purpose for which You created me. I gladly surrender myself to be used as You will.

The author uses this as a way to say that women should accept the pregnancies God puts in their lives.

I see this paraphrased passage and think of how it applies to my family.

It is a hardship. There isn't a day that doesn't pass that I don't think of the children I will not bear that I had always dreamed of or mourn the pregnancies I will not experience. It will always be painful and there will always be sorrow. But there is a plan God has in place. I truly believe that he has set up for our family of three to become larger through foster care adoption.

JAMES 1:27
Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.